Bah. Let’s not think romance. I’m gonna be ‘pun’ny!

I love silly jokes. They put a smile on my face and crack me up like an egg getting ready to be an omlette! I haven’t come up with all of these but enjoyed them thoroughly.

Silly knock knock jokes, one liners and puns coming up! 😀

  • The thief tried to break in through the window. Soon he felt the pane in his ass.
  • I fail to understand why Russia is Putin’ on a brave face.
  • I wanted to wrap hot food for everyone but my plans were foiled.
  • I drew barrymore but tom cruised into the scene anne hath-his-way.
  • I was once attacked by a gaggle of geese.The incident gave me goosebumps.
  • She said you are my ‘Dark Fantasy’ ..He said Tu ‘Marie Gold’. They must have had a ‘Good Day’!
  • Eggs make lousy comedians. They always crackup at their own yokes.
  • Lacking proper instruments, the surgeon had to resect a bowel using plumber’s tools – it was a gut-wrenching experience.
  • I suck at answering questions.Mera jeevan Quora kaagaz Quora hi reh gaya!
  • When the doc goofed up in the brain surgery he got a piece of his mind !
  • I really like the poetry ‘Daffodils’, its every word’s worth it!
  • Q – What did the cannibal get for dinner when he got back home late in the night??A – A cold shoulder
  • I went to the theatre, it looked a bit suspicious. I reckon the whole thing was staged.
  • A murderer chased me to the edge of a cliff.I was helpless as I had no vertigo.
  • I gather that folks at Bausch and Lomb have a lot of contacts.
  • Two florists got married. It was an arranged marriage.
  • Well…….I dont lie. I speak Fiction.
  • if you take an auto-rickshaw to somewhere, will you be driving on auto mode?
  • These days all the wildlife scenes are made using computer giraffics.
  • Mr. Banana felt lonely……. when he realized he was a’kela.
  • Psychoanalysts say crazy things but I’m ‘freud they are true.
  • Two red blood cells met and fell in love. But alas, it was in vein.
  • I’m writing a story about tomatoes for my 3 year old cousin. It’s titled ‘Pulp Fiction’
  • If “Da Vinci Code” has been written by punjabi author then its name would be “Vinci Da Code”!”
  • I was at a party in Delhi, and overheard 2 married women talking. One whispered to the other “I am having an affair”. The other said “Who are the caterers?”
  • he desolate mill-worker’s wife sang every morning “Tum jo mill gaye ho…”
  • I knew a lonely musician.He was always in the doldrums.
  • Two wires were talking about soldering. One said to the other, “that word is my bond”.
  • if you take an auto-rickshaw to somewhere, will you be driving on auto mode?
  • …and then there is a dude pig who lives in sty-le.
  • Q: What excuse would Veeru give to his wife if she asked to go for shopping?
    A: ‘Wrong day Basanti'”
  • I forgot to take out money from the pocket of my jeans before putting it in the washing machine.Now it’s liquidated.
  • The beach trip was expensive.I shelled out a lot of money.
  • Ramdev Baba’s girlfriend is Jadi Booty.
  • The cemetery is the dead centre. It’s where the local bodies meet.
  • I hate Golf in the morning as tea off is bad idea, I need my mug full to start a day!
  • A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterdayIt would be funny if this joke had a punchlineWooden tit ?
  • Geography puns? There’s Norway I’d go Oslo as that !!!
  • I usually take steps to avoid elevators.
  • Just received a blackmail note written in Comic Sans. Not sure whether to take it seriously or not.
  • Archaeology students who study the plumbing of ancient Egypt are Pharaoh faucet majors .
  • Shoepidity… wearing ridiculously uncomfortable shoes just because they look good.
  •  can’t find my nail-polish bottle.It has varnished into thin air!
  • The waiter’s gf dumped him.What a beTRAYal!
  • Some fruit puns can be unpearable but there’s no reason to grape about it.
  • A Prostitutes Epitaph.” At Last She Sleeps Alone”. RIP

I’d say enough of puns 😛 Let’s do Knock knock jokes now!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to let me in?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anee.
Anee,who?
Anee one you like!

 

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Iva.
Iva who?
I’ve a sore hand from knocking!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen anybody want to let me in?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Needle.
Needle who?
Needle little money for the movies.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Henrietta.
Henrietta who?
Henrietta worm that was in his apple.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Avenue.
Avenue who?
Avenue knocked on this door before?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, it’s cold out here!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A herd.
A herd who?
A herd you were home, so I came over!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Adore.
Adore who?
Adore is between us. Open up!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Otto.
Otto who?
Otto know. I’ve got amnesia.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
King Tut.
King Tut who?
King Tut-key fried chicken!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in it’s cold out here.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good place we can get something to eat?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin the piggy bank again.

Now just a lil more!

1. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? Ans: It was in tents! hahaha

2.What do you call a pig that does karate? Ans: a pork chop!

3.What do clouds wear under their clothes? Ans: Thunderpants!

4. What did the cobbler say when the cat wandered into his shop? Ans: Shoe!

5. Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under arm. Says to the bartender: “I’ll take a beer, and one for the road.”

6. What’s brown and sticky? Ans: A stick.

7.What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Ans: Wipes his butt! hahahaha

8. What is invisible and smells of carrots? Ans: Rabbit farts.

9. Why don’t blind people go skydiving? Ans: Because it scares the bejesus out of the dogs!

10. What did the big bucket say to the little bucket? Ans: You look a little pail!

This is it for today! I’ll keep scrounging around for more! Rolling like a stone! 😀

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, It’s overflowing!

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